Alright, It's Out There...

Brooke Burke, the new hostess on Dancing With the Stars was on Oprah today. She said that she 'visualized' having the job on DWTS -- she "put it out there", she talked about it, she blogged about it.  She made a 'bucket list' and included that on it AS WELL AS (happy coincidence) an Oprah Show-appearance.  She talks about how great it is that she gets to check off two items on her list.

OK. Fine.  I'm open to anything at this point.

Let's see...I think first and foremost are the most urgent needs:  I need a job.  I need health insurance....better, I need the health insurance people to see that they are wrong and I am right -- I am a timely payer, and as such they need to reinstate me.

I wanted to be financially stable again.  I was for years, I like that, I want that.  I love that Anonymous has been kind to me; I love how generous Friend Chris is; I love the care and support David and Kristen have shown -- I want to be financially stable.  I want to be the giver.  I want to again support my synagogue, TPT Television, and the Heifer Organization.  I want to be able to buy chicken wire for my gardens now, and not have to wait until next month when I 'should' have a little more spare cash. I want to be back on track with groceries: once every 2 weeks instead of a little bit each week out of my $30-Gigi money. I want to feel stable.  I want to be able to take my car in for the repairs it needs.  I hate the feeling that this might be my last trip before it fails.

I want a new, reliable car with a warranty.  I will never buy another used car again.  I will always lease.

I want to weigh what I weighed 2 years ago, before all the crap and health problems began.  I don't need to be boney, just trim. I did it before, I want to do it again.  I want to be healthy.  I want to end my love affair with refined sugar. I want to walk every day and develop muscle-tone in my legs.  I have "all the time in the world" but lack the motivation-- I want to be motivated.

I want to be a balanced, motivated, happy, satisfied woman.  It would help if my hormones were in balance!  It would help if I could afford my hormones. I want to have a positive outlook and truly believe that all will turn out for the best.

I'd like a job that I can retire from.  I need to be creative.  I need to be a source of information -- a specialist in my own field. I want people to come to me with their problems and I want to help them. I want people to leave satisfied and pleased with the encounter.  I want to work in the public sector whether that is local government or a nonprofit of some sort.  I just want someone to say, "What a nice, helpful woman!" For 16 years I said, "No", now I'd like to say, "Let me see what I can do for you!".

I'd like a partner in life.  I tired of doing this all alone.  I like that I am independent and am proud of my strength and accomplishments, but now, I would like a supporter in all of this.  Someone who can carry a conversation, who would also listen. I want that person, the one whom you'd like to talk to before you go to sleep, that person.  That person whom you watch TV with and never once speak but you share time and space.  Right now, that's my dogs.  Who are lovely, but not much for conversation.

I want to gain my spirituality back.  I lost it about 2 years ago and don't know how to get it back.  I miss it.

I want my neighbors to spray for dandelions. I mean really, what's the deal? But then I'd also like them to mow.  You know if you mow regularly, you won't have to worry about spraying....

That's all I have for now.  Maybe over time I can fine tune this down, like: I want a Hundai Sonata. But for now, a new car would be grand.

Is There No End?

I received notice from my health carrier that they were cancelling my insurance for nonpayment.   In the same envelope was my payment.   They claim that the check I sent from Minneapolis on 3/17 arrived with a postmark from St. Paul on 4/5.  This is 5 days late.  This is simply a scam -- pure and simple.  Furthermore, after having sent my payment $229+ they sent me notice that my payment was owed in the amount of $159+ so obviously there has been an overpayment of $70-some dollars.  One would think that would be applied to the outstanding balance.  But what's more, this is consistent with this company.  Since January they have sent no less than 3 different coupons changing my monthly premium.  So what is the actual amount owed?  And even more interesting, in February I had an email conversation with an account rep who told me that I had a $159+ credit -- the same amount they are now saying I owe.  I've since made calls to this same woman for help with no return calls. 

I'm so tired.

Is There or Is There Not a Job?

I got a call from an agency wanting me to interview for a "Minneapolis insurance compnay".  Sweet!  Minneapolis!  What a deal!  Maybe I could use the train!  COOL! Well we had several calls and emails with much reference to the "Minneapolis insurance company".  Why does she keep saying that and what company other than Berkley is in MPLS? 

Then I get an urgent email:  I've been trying to reach you; they want to interview you (in Minneapolis) tomorrow at 10AM.  Terrific, fine, I'll be there.  Send me the information.  By the way, where is this in Minneapolis? Reimer Avenue. Where?  Google it.

So I do.  It's in friggin Osseo! Now I'm torqued.  I feel like I have been lied to.  But I committed to the interview and I go. 

It took 40 minutes to get there. After 5 minutes they tell me they are not sure whether there is a position but that they are interviewing just in case and really this isn't the real interview.   The real interview would be with their client -- this was just to put a face to the name as they are already impressed with my credentials.  So, thanks and we'll be in touch.  All that for a 40 minute drive.  

That afternoon I get home to two voicemails.  The first:  Congratulations!  An offer has been made.  They want you to interview with their client! The second:  They've chnged their mind and are going a different route.  The offer has been rescinded. So in a matter of a minute I had and lost a job.  This was my first in 7 1/2 months. 

What?  You hear the recession is over?  Really.