Time Trudges On

It's been seven months since I last wrote.  And little has changed.  No job. Car, still bad.  Money, still bad.  Overweight. Health, still poor.

Health insurance is gone.  Even with the help of an attorney I did not prevail.  It would take a suit in Federal Court at this point and I don't have the money.  So I am one of the millions (?) who is uninsured. I tried to buy some but no one will insure me as I have a pre-existing condition.  Pres. Obama's plan provides insurance for folks like me...at a cost of $400+ a month.  I don't that kind of money.

In June my modified mortgage that I closed on in April, was withdrawn as they claim I have too many assets.  He...wha..huh? Where are these assets?  I could sure use them.  This is now in the hands of Al Franken and his staff. And for the last four months we have been trying to get my file from the Department of Treasury and they won't respond.  We can't fight without that.  Seems convenient doesn't it?  The mortgage company now calls me late and default since I have been paying (on time) the reduced rate that I was told to pay back in December.  They say I am paying short since there is no longer a modification in place.  They have given me a forbearance until February but still consider me late.  My credit is shot.

Unemployment runs  out in January.  I have no idea what happens after that. I just can't imagine.

I had one interview only last week.  All told -- in 15 months -- I have had four interviews.  This last one seems...hopeful. I'm a little afraid to say so. It feels like bad ju-ju to even talk about it.  So I won't.

This summer I put in gardens in every spare patch of dirt and then lost most of it to rabbits.  This despite chicken wire as far as the eye can see.  It seems that the babies (who will eat anything) can make their way through the holes in chicken wire. I lost all my acorn squash, cantaloupe, pumpkins, carrots and lost plant after plant of broccoli.  This only came in after the babies got bigger.  I have plenty of red peppers and broc and dried beans.  Oh and lettuce. I sure had lettuce.  So I used the Farmers Market every week.  Not how I planned it but at least I wasn't running to Rainbow every week.   Will try again next year.

So shall "I put it out there" again?  OK:
  
I  need a job.  It would be wonderful if it was a job that I can retire from.  A job where I am challenged and fulfilled. A job where I assist others in a positive fashion; a job I can be proud of. I need to be able to pay my bills and mortgage. I need to be financially stable.  I need a car.  A good stable car.  I need to be healthy and with that I need health insurance. My elbows are so painful -- I need to see a doctor.  I need my spirituality back. I'm floundering out here!  I need a relationship -- a good stable, loving relationship.  I want to save my house. I'd like to be at peace for once in the last two or more years!  I'm tired of this fight.